Can you think of a good title?

Monday again. I was talking to a friend this morning, and I mentioned my life is starting to feel like a rerun; each week feels like someone just hit the refresh button every seven days, no matter how many times you push it, the page always comes back the same (and devoid of comments).

I hate reruns.

That conversation left me thinkng... I submerged into an introspective pothole, and started to ponder my discontentment. Why does it feel so much like I'm not going anywhere? Specifically with regards to my church, and where I feel God has put me. I desperately want to pour myself into serving Him in my church body. Yet everytime I make a start... it fizzles out. I feel like a firecracker with a wet wick. Can't quite get the spark to where it'll explode into something meaningful. I have so much time, too much time, but I'm too daft to work with it.
I know God has given me many talents and abilities to serve with, and I long to use them. I long to jump in head first and start making ripples that will effect people. I'm not satisfied with what I'm doing now. Perhaps God is calling me to be, but maybe He's just waiting for me to grab ahold of the rope ladder He's dropped me and start climbing. Why can't I seem to gether up the courage to take advantage of oppertunities when I see them? Why do I worry so much?
While I was reading this morning, I heard a familiar word being whispered to me. 'Trust'.
That's what it all comes down to, isn't it? No matter where I am, what I'm doing.... I'm called to trust Him. Before anything else. Just trust. Do I need to go somewhere? Trust. Do I need to find a means? Trust.
Often I'll argue that with, "But I can't just sit around waiting for you to do things for me, God. That's not what you want me to do." Trusting though, is continuing to move forward. Always. Especially when we feel completely left out of the plan. Even when the way ahead seems so foggy we don't feel safe taking even one more step forward. God stands there with His hand outstretched to me, and asks, "Do you trust that I'll bring you through?"
I'm convicted that God is desiring to make the most of where I am. If I want to catch the vision - burst into a flame that will blaze hot - then I need to put aside my daydreams and start desiring the same. Give up my discontentment, and start building upon what's around me, no matter how small or inconsequential it seems.

There is one difference in this last refresh; this weekend I'm planning to go to Seattle for the Promise Keepers men's conference. I've wanted to go for a long time. I hear it's very incredible.
My prayer is that God would do alot this weekend... that he would use it mold me into a man more like Christ. I hope it fills me with a greater desire to be a promise keeper, to God, and to whoever I marry.

I'm getting excited. :) And I'm really hoping to get Ronnie to come as well, I think it would be a great experience for Him. Please pray for that.

Hurrah for road trips!!!